Bodily Betrayal

Since the beginning of the year, I’ve been having some not so pleasant digestive issues.  Not fun.  It lasted two weeks before I went to the doctor.  These issues usually resolved themselves within a couple of days.  They lasted two weeks in 2007.  I felt better afterwards.  I’ve had these issues since I got my gall bladder taken out in 1995.  Not all the time.  just enough for me to notice when it started and for it to be annoying when it happens.

This is the longest it’s been happening.  Things have calmed down for the most part.  At least I think they have.  In 2007, the issues went away almost as fast as they came on.  And even since the beginning of the year, I’ve had a couple of weeks where everything was okay.  So I don’t feel like I can be sure this is resolving itself, of if it’s just a quick break.  I’ll take it either way, but it’s frustrating not knowing what’s causing it or what I can do to stop it.

I’ve had a colonoscopy and endoscopy.  All the results came back negative.  Good news for me.  But frustrating that there wasn’t a solid answer and solution.  My gastroenterologist recommended trying a lactose free diet for 6 weeks.  Yeah, that’s hard.  I love cheese and yogurt.  But I’m doing it, for the most part.  And I’m still occasionally having the issues.  He also suggested a wheat free diet after the lactose free.  I didn’t even realize it, but I’ve been pretty wheat free since the tests.  I haven’t been super vigilant about it though.  Maybe it’s all gluten?  Maybe it’s a combination of the gluten and dairy?  Or maybe I’m just screwed.

This is definitely playing into my eating disorder.  It’s dividing food into good and bad categories.  Even more that I usually do.  It just reinforces the black and white thinking.  It helps the restricting.  I don’t want to end up in the bathroom, so I’d rather not eat.  Feeling empty makes me feel so good.  And I’d rather not eat to keep that feeling that way.  Well, it makes me feel good until my blood sugar crashes and I have to force myself to eat something.  Then it sucks.  And it sucks that I have no energy.  But I still love the feeling.

I just want to figure out what’s causing the digestive issues and how to fix it.


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