The anxiety has just been crazy high today. I even contemplated going back home while I was waiting for the subway. Not that I don’t normally contemplate going back home once I’m on the platform, but this time I was actually starting to make my way out when the train came. It’s be a while since I’ve backed out of doing something purely out of anxiety (not eating disorder related anxiety). I can usually push through and do whatever I need to do. I’m a big girl like that. I just don’t know what’s going on today.
I had a hard time falling asleep last night. I was tired, but then found something interesting on TV. I eventually lowered the volume (I can’t sleep without the TV on) and tried to get comfortable, but nothing felt right. I eventually got to sleep, but morning came too soon.
My new face cream “tingled” a little too much for my liking.
They didn’t have the eggs out at the place where I normally get my breakfast.
The phones were off when I got to work.
My lunch really wasn’t that good.
And I’m sitting around, not really doing much of anything.
Yeah. I’ve been real productive here. I’m just tired of all this. I feel like I’m on the verge of breaking, but I can’t. Not yet anyway. I have too many responsibilities.
And I’m sick of waiting to hear back from the CEO I met with. You know you want me. You know you can afford me. So just offer me the position and let’s work out the details later. I know that’s not how it works, but I’d rather it did.
I wish I could go straight home after work today, but I have therapy.
I just need a break, please.
And a nap.