Shaping My Future

Earlier this week, I got an email from the CEO of the NGO I want to work for.  I’m glad she remembered me.  I should have a job description within the next week and we have a meeting in 10 days.  I’m hoping between the job description, salary, and benefits, I can justify leaving my current position.  Whilst I’m very grateful I have a job, I really am not challenged or stimulated by it.  However, I get paid a very nice amount for the amount of actual work I do.  I’m very lucky and I understand that.  And I don’t want to leave unless it’s going to be worth it.  I just can’t justify leaving for triple the amount of work for the same or less salary.

I think if I weren’t married, then I’d be more likely to consider something with the same-ish salary.  I’d only be responsible for myself.  But I have a real future to think about and plan for and I want something that’s going to facilitate that.  And I think that the responsible thing to do is to probably concentrate on finding another job or go back to school.  This job gave me stability when I needed it.  And when I first got this job, it worked really well.  I was just learning a new business and it helped to take my mind off stuff.  I had been going through a pretty rough time with the eating disorder, and answering phones and other light duties was about all I could handle.  But since I’ve really been working on me the past 3 years, I feel I’ve gotten stronger.  And while I do still struggle (some days more than others), I’m in a much better place than I was.  And I want more.

I want to have a career, not just a job.  I want to be able to make a difference.  Just to one person.  I want to use the skills I have.  I want to challenge myself and push myself outside my comfort zone.

If I decide not to take the new position, I think I’m going to go back to school.  I think I’d like a second bachelor’s in something more science-y.  I’d like to see how far my brain can take me.  I guess, my ultimate goal in this route, would be teaching at the collegiate level.  There are a lot of subjects that I’m interested in–I have no idea how to narrow it down.

I’m excited to see where the future leads me.  I just the meeting would have happened already so I can start making some very important decisions.

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