I am so not happy that today is Monday. I don’t want it to be Monday. Well, it can be Monday, but I don’t want to have to acknowledge it’s Monday. I just want to go back to the weekend where I can procrastinate working on my paper some more. Actually, that’s not true. I did work on it quite a bit. I have the short answers done. I’m just working on the long essay. I did email my professor to ask if I can focus on one major time period. He said it was fine as long as I state exactly that. I’m relieved about that. I think part of me was just anxious that the essay could have such a broad response that I was a bit overwhelmed about writing it. Now that I’m able to focus in on a particular year, it’s going to be much better.
I was meant to write some of my essay today. But I haven’t even gotten to it yet. Other things are getting in the way. I just wish I could snap my fingers and it would get done.
I want to go back to sleep. This heat wave is suffocating. I don’t feel well at all.
The scale went up again this morning. I’m not happy about that. I didn’t want to eat lunch, but I felt I had to. And now I feel so guilty for eating. I feel like I could have held out longer. I should have held out longer. I should walk home to make up for it. At least I’ll be walking to therapy. That should make up for some of it. I just want it all gone.
I fell like a complete spoiled brat. Here I am complaining about writing a midterm, the heat, and myself. I should be grateful I have any of those. I really should. I just need to suck it up and keep going. I can do this.