Another Year Passes

The end of 2014 is upon us. Another year has just flown by. I can still remember sitting at my dest in February wondering how I was going to make it through my spring semester classes. And here I am, challenging myself by becoming a full time student and excelling.

I continue to be appreciative of my job. I know I have it good there. The work is not stressful. My office is close to school. And there is downtime a couple of times a year where I can get school work done during working hours.

It was my goal last year to talk more this year. I’ve kind of done that. Occasionally. But my silence has been loud and pushed some away.

I’m learning new things about myself. That’s a life long process.

So, here’s to 2015. I hope to:
~ Continue to enjoy the classes I’m taking
~ Work to my full potential in both work and school
~ Talk more/write more/communicate my true feelings more
~ Lose weight the way I want to

Looking Back

This past year has led me on a journey I never thought I would have ever been on. There were immense highs and hellish lows.  I regret nothing.  Everything was a learning experience.

I miss my husband terribly.  I still love him with all my heart.  I whole heartedly wish that things would have turned out differently.  I’m still having a difficult time coming to terms with the reality of our relationship.  I have a hard time saying it out loud.

Another year has passed and I’m still just as entrenched in my eating disorder now  as I was 5 years ago.  Maybe some of the behaviors have lessened or changed, but the thoughts are just as intense.

I went back to school and that was the best thing I ever could have done.  I love every minute of it.  I have no doubt that school saved my life this semester.  And quite possibly the next one.

I’m looking forward to the new year.  I want to be able to let go of my past and move on and grow.