Figuring it Out

I had known for some time that my marriage was over.  I just really didn’t want to admit it.  I was holding onto hope…  Hope that it would get better.  Hope that if we both worked on it, we’d be stronger.  Hope that I really was overreacting and being too emotional.

I love school.  Even the homework (although I may deny it during finals).  And talking to different professors and reading for pleasure again helped me to figure out the exact field and focus I want to eventually work in.  I knew it was right because as I was thinking about job possibilities, I was open to location.  If work took me away from my beloved New York City, I’d be okay with that.  That’s how I knew.

The second red flag came about as I was speaking with my literature instructor.  She was asking what I wanted to do with my degree.  After I told her, she asked, “What will your husband do?”  I couldn’t answer.  Oops.  Until that moment, I hadn’t considered him at all in my plan.  But why should I?  He never factored me into his plans.

He had planned out our future; my future.  He got upset when I voiced my concerns, frustrations, and possible flaws and would try to quiet me with a, “It will be okay.”  That caused me to get upset and angry and we would both explode.  When I tried explaining my issues, he would get angry and say I was overreacting and being silly.

How exactly can I overreact or be silly when I’m just expressing how I feel?