She Said, He Does

She said, “I love you.”

He just nodded silently.

She said, “We should talk.”

He just rolled his eyes and sighed.

I ask what’s wrong.

Lies fall out of his mouth without a moment’s hesitation.

I get frustrated and angry.

He says something hurtful.

I say, “This isn’t right,” and start to cry.

Then he wants to talk.

And all I want to do is shut down.

 

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Keep Piling it On

Thoughts running around

Nothing is safe

Memories flood my head

I can’t get over the past few days

Panic attacks come and wipe me out

Numb to my surroundings

Barely able to lift a finger

I want them to disappear

I want to disappear

Just enough to keep going

My thoughts are holding me hostage

I want to break free

The more I fight

The stronger they hold on

Behind My Eyes

My eyes tell a story of pain and sadness

of a childhood too quickly passed through.

They tell a story of self torture and doubt

of wild curiosity

and a passion left behind because reality set in.

Creating,

thinking,

remembering.

Jumping between reality and my imagination

the memories burned into my mind.

I remember a lot.

The tiniest details.

Felling chills up my spine.

What I wore and how I felt,

but it’s not all the time.

Chunks of time I don’t remember

Chunks of time I’d rather forget.

oh look!

Quietly lurking in the corner

is the glitter and sparkle that make me smile.

The warm embraces,

a sense of safety in my own skin.

Cherished moments in my heart.

My eyes tell a story that lead into my soul

but most of the time you don’t see it

because I’m hiding behind my wall.